Tag Archives: acceptance

The comfort zone paradox

October 18, 2016 By in Change your thinking Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , 2 Comments

Is that the people who make it a habit to step outside their comfort zone – who say yes to experiencing fear and discomfort – are the people who live more comfortably.

They are more happy, less stressed, have better health and a higher quality of life.

Why?

First, staying within your comfort zone means you hide, of course, from the very situations, people, experiences and places that make life joyful, rich and meaningful.

Some examples:

The person who isn’t their true self because it feels scary, risky and uncertain, also misses out on excitement, purpose and growth.

The person who doesn’t show vulnerability because it exposes them to fear, rejection and hurt, also misses out on belonging, creativity and courage.

The person who doesn’t allow their self to fall in love because it’s scary and exposes them to conflict, pain and heartbreak, also misses out on joy, meaning and connection.

Second, and this is most important: your comfort zone isn’t actually comfortable.

That’s right. It’s a myth.

Sadness, stress, setbacks and conflicts are a package deal that come with the gift of living. The truth is all of us experience discomfort, irrespective of how much we live in our comfort zone.

And if the comfort zone isn’t comfy, where are you going to live?

A Body Acceptance Manifesto

May 2, 2016 By in Love your body Tags: , , , , , , , , , 5 Comments

Body, more than anything, you must know you are both beautiful and enough. Exactly as you are, in this very moment.

The only words deserving of you come from a place of admiration and appreciation. Disgust, hate and fat have no place for you.

I wholeheartedly believe you are beautiful. Negative judgements – from others or my unconscious self – do not reflect you. I promise another perspective will not be given the power to undermine you.

I know that scales don’t define your worthiness. You are filled with an abundance of warmth, compassion and love. No number changes that.

I accept you will change, and that you will wrinkle, expand and sag. But know this will never change your beauty, nor how I feel about you.

I am aware there will always be slimmer, taller and more defined bodies than you. Yet your beauty is unique, and can never be diminished by the presence of another.

I commit to always being grateful for you, as you exist to always support and look after me. My words cannot express how much I admire you, or how thankful I am to have you.

I choose to feel pride and joy when sharing you. I will not hide you, or feel ashamed by you, when being with another. It is a privilege to give them the opportunity to admire and cherish you, exactly as I have learnt to.

Nutritious eating, regular exercise and adequate rest are not only aspirations for you. They are each daily practices. It is both my responsibility, and my privilege, to respect and nourish you.

Yet the greatest gift I can give you is my unconditional love. A love that supports you into becoming the best and healthiest version of you.

Although you may not be there yet, my admiration for you now is possible because I understand you are both a work of art, and a work in progress. Just as I am, too.

Body, I love you. All of you. Truly, deeply, unconditionally.

[Download and print the body acceptance manifesto for free, here.]

What to do when change is hard

December 14, 2015 By in Change your behaviour Tags: , , , , , 2 Comments

Why is changing a behaviour or emotional response so difficult?

Research shows that it’s often because we value the very part of us that causes it.

Some examples.

Those who struggle to change:

  • impulsive behaviour, value being spontaneous.
  • being perfectionist, value having drive and ambition.
  • feeling depressed, value self-reflection.
  • worrying or anxiety, value showing responsibility.
  • looking for faults, value being serious.
  • being dependant on others, value being caring.

2 thoughts on this research.

First, when change is hard, start by looking inside yourself. Changing a behaviour or emotional response requires both:

  1. An understanding of your current way of thinking. What thoughts are causing this resistance to change?
  2. The development of an alternative worldview. One that supports the change you seek.

Second, also well worth asking: should I change here?

If it is actually my strengths that are causing my unhappiness, what’s stopping me from choosing to wholeheartedly accept myself, exactly as I am?

Remember, change starts from within.

And sometimes, the change required isn’t about avoiding or fixing. It’s about accepting, and embracing, all of you.

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