The comfort zone paradox

Is that the people who make it a habit to step outside their comfort zone – who say yes to experiencing fear and discomfort – are the people who live more comfortably.

They are more happy, less stressed, have better health and a higher quality of life.

Why?

First, staying within your comfort zone means you hide, of course, from the very situations, people, experiences and places that make life joyful, rich and meaningful.

Some examples:

The person who isn’t their true self because it feels scary, risky and uncertain, also misses out on excitement, purpose and growth.

The person who doesn’t show vulnerability because it exposes them to fear, rejection and hurt, also misses out on belonging, creativity and courage.

The person who doesn’t allow their self to fall in love because it’s scary and exposes them to conflict, pain and heartbreak, also misses out on joy, meaning and connection.

Second, and this is most important: your comfort zone isn’t actually comfortable.

That’s right. It’s a myth.

Sadness, stress, setbacks and conflicts are a package deal that come with the gift of living. The truth is all of us experience discomfort, irrespective of how much we live in our comfort zone.

And if the comfort zone isn’t comfy, where are you going to live?

Why your problem may not actually be the problem

Consider the Chinese proverb that tells the story of the Taoist farmer.

This farmer had only one horse, and one day that horse ran away. The neighbours came to condole over his terrible loss. The farmer said, “What makes you think it is so terrible?”

A month later, the horse came home, this time bringing with it two beautiful wild horses. The neighbours became excited at the farmer’s good fortune. The farmer said, “What makes you think this is good fortune?”

The farmer’s son was thrown from one of the wild horses and broke his leg. All the neighbours were very distressed. The farmer said, “What makes you think it is bad?”

A war came, and every able-bodied man was conscripted and sent into battle. Only the farmer’s son remained. The neighbours congratulated the farmer. “What makes you think this is good?” said the farmer.

When you next find yourself feeling down about something external to you, worth remembering it may not actually be bad at all.

Indeed, what if it is exactly what’s required for you to create something exciting, wondrous and new?

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