Just because…

Just because someone failed to see the value in what you create, doesn’t mean it isn’t valuable.

Just because someone said you didn’t measure up to some standard of achievement, doesn’t mean that they are right, or that standard of achievement actually matters.

Just because someone said it can’t be done, doesn’t mean that you can never do it.

Just because someone got angry at or judged you, doesn’t mean that you are wrong.

Just because someone believes you are not good enough, doesn’t mean that you are not enough already.

Just because someone said you can’t make a difference here, doesn’t mean you do not possess unique gifts and talents that only you can contribute elsewhere.

Just because someone couldn’t see the beauty within you, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

Just because someone doesn’t want you in their life, doesn’t mean that your presence is not the most amazing gift for another.

Just because someone isn’t willing or able to love you, doesn’t mean that you are not lovable.

The high-fat, high-calorie foods that you should be eating

The idea that we should limit the intake of all high-fat, high-calorie foods is now outdated and actually unhealthy.

Research conclusively tells us that most plant-based fats and oils should be promoted and encouraged, because adding them into our diet results in significantly better heart and metabolic health.

What’s more, this impressive health benefit is one that few other dietary changes can achieve.

From the literature, I think we can confidently conclude that even eating more fruits and vegetables or more whole grains, whilst still important, is unlikely to give us the same heart health benefits that eating more plant-based fats and oils does.

What are plant-based fats and oils?

Not all plant-based fats and oils are equal, but some examples I encourage are:

  • 30 grams (1 handful) of nuts or seeds,
  • 50mL of most vegetable oils (particularly extra-virgin olive oil or canola oil),
  • 50 grams (or 1/4) avocado,
  • 20 grams of nut spread,
  • If using salad dressings, to opt for full-fat salad dressings instead of low-fat salad dressings, and
  • If not using avocado or nut spreads, to opt for margarine instead of animal-fat or lower-fat alternatives, such as butter, honey or jam.

Will eating these foods make you put on weight?

Research now clearly tells us that the fat and calorie content of a food does not, surprisingly, predict its effect on our weight.

For example:

  • some high-fat, higher-calorie foods, such as nuts and cheese, are associated with less or no weight gain.
  • some low-fat, lower-calorie foods, such as soft drinks and refined grains (like white bread and white rice), are associated with significant weight gain.

Whilst there are a lot of factors at play here, fat is well-known to slow down digestion, and thus changes our hormonal response after eating.

This is thought to contribute to a foods impact on our weight in the long-term, and might be partly why skim-milk or low-fat milk does not appear to be any better for our weight than full-cream milk.

The bottom line

The healthiest way to manage your weight, I believe, is to mostly enjoy a wide variety of minimally processed plant foods, including the plant-based fats and oils listed above.

If your daily consumption of calories is something that needs to be addressed, the first step is eating less highly processed or “treat” foods, such as cakes, biscuits, soft drink, refined grains and confectionary.

The total calories that you consume every day is still important.

But the total calories (or total fat) found in a single food, is not.

Why your dreams shouldn’t wait for tomorrow

Because you are worthy of them today.

The most essential thing to understand is that there are no prerequisites to your worthiness.

Right now, you are worthy of love, of belonging and of having what your heart desires.

Right now, you are worthy of sharing your gifts, ideas and talents with the world, and you are worthy of being all of you, without the fear of judgement, ridicule or hurt from others.

Those feelings of doubt and fear that hold us back very rarely have anything to do with our actual capabilities, and very often have everything to do with the voice inside of our head. The very voice that looks down on us and says, “Are you sure you’re enough?”

Yes, you’re imperfect. Yes, you’ve made mistakes. Yes, you’ve got plenty of room still to grow.

But you are worthy. Not just tomorrow, but in this very moment, just the way that you are.

We’re ready when you are.

6 myths we are told every time we watch The Biggest Loser

  1. If I am overweight, there is something wrong and shameful about my body.
  2. If I am overweight, I need to lose weight to find confidence, happiness and self-worth.
  3. Weight loss is easy. If I can’t lose weight, there is something wrong with me.
  4. Extreme dieting and overtraining, even though they increase my risk of nutritional deficiencies and injury, are necessary practices because they result in weight loss.
  5. Weight loss is the most important outcome of exercise and eating.
  6. I am defined by the number I see on the scales.

Each of these assumptions are incorrect, ineffective and dangerous.

They do not just undermine why, and how, we should be striving to eat better and exercise more.

They also, very worryingly, reinforce the idea that changing who we are is a requirement for us to be self-accepting, confident and happy.

If you really think about it, why should this ever be true?

We now know that:

The Biggest Loser is now well over a decade behind the scientific world, which suggests that a better and healthier way to manage your weight in the long-term is, ironically, to stop making it all about your weight.

The desire to be the biggest loser undermines our ability to feel like, and be, a winner.

The secret to having others see the world like you do

Is to develop the ability to truly see the world just as they do.

You see, when disagreement arises with others, we have a choice. We can choose to make it either:

  1. Us versus them, or
  2. Us with them.

And together, we get to decide which one.

When we decide it’s us versus them, we follow our current thinking, and challenge the others perspective.

We defend and debate, and ensure an outcome that can only ever be win or lose (or at the very best, a compromise, where we both win a bit and lose a bit).

But when we instead decide it’s us with them, we put our current thinking aside for now, and each try to understand the others perspective. Suddenly, we’ve opened the door for internal growth, and a different outcome to appear.

Together, we can now:

  • explore each of our different perspectives,
  • truly understand the key issues, assumptions and values that were pulling us apart, and
  • work towards the possibility of developing a shared perspective and solution. One that addresses the conflicting issues and needs that gave rise to disagreement in the first place.

When we start with listening, empathy and an appreciation for disagreement, we allow ourselves to move away from win or lose, and open the possibility for win-win.

One of the easiest ways to get you to exercise more

Is to stop saying “I will” and start asking “will I?”

“I will” implies requirement. You end up doing it only because you should do.

“Will I?” implies choice. You end up doing it only because you want to.

Research shows that simply asking ourselves “Will I go the gym?” is significantly more motivating than saying to ourselves “I will go to the gym”.

“Will I go to the gym?” engages the part of us that is motivated to go from within.

“I will go to gym” shuts the door on that very part from coming through.

If you want to change long-term, step 1 is to find the part inside of you that wants it.

Step 2, however, is all about giving it a choice to keep on coming back.

I will be happy when…

  1. I get that pay rise.
  2. I have that house.
  3. I lose those 5kg.
  4. I win that award.

Of course, it’s all a lie.

Once we get that pay rise, have that house, lose those 5kg or win that award, we celebrate, but are soon right back to where we started. We just go looking for the very next thing that needs to be ticked off from our list.

The truth is, long-term happiness isn’t found from the outside.

It comes from how we view and interact with the world, not about what the world gives back to usScientific research suggests just 10% of our total long-term happiness is influenced by our life circumstances.

When we instead practice the art of embracing the strengths that we have today, cultivating the relationships that mean the most to us now, contributing to something greater than ourselves and having gratitude for what we have already got, we give up our search for happiness by looking into the future.

And this allows us to appreciate and find happiness in the present.

Why you shouldn’t eat like Elle Macpherson

One of the main reasons I see for all the confusion in nutrition today?

People seeing association as causation.

Association is 2 things that occur at the same time. This doesn’t mean that one causes another.

Causation is a description of cause and effect. One only happens directly because of the other.

Yes, it’s sunny when you’re at the beach, and raining when your umbrella is up. But going to the beach or reaching for your umbrella won’t change the weather, of course.

If we understand this, why believe that eating how Elle Macpherson eats is the right thing to do?

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