Why is changing a behaviour or emotional response so difficult?
Research shows that it’s often because we value the very part of us that causes it.
Those who struggle to change:
- impulsive behaviour, value being spontaneous.
- being perfectionist, value having drive and ambition.
- feeling depressed, value self-reflection.
- worrying or anxiety, value showing responsibility.
- looking for faults, value being serious.
- being dependant on others, value being caring.
2 thoughts on this research.
First, when change is hard, start by looking inside yourself. Changing a behaviour or emotional response requires both:
- An understanding of your current way of thinking. What thoughts are causing this resistance to change?
- The development of an alternative worldview. One that supports the change you seek.
Second, also well worth asking: should I change here?
If it is actually my strengths that are causing my unhappiness, what’s stopping me from choosing to wholeheartedly accept myself, exactly as I am?
Remember, change starts from within.
And sometimes, the change required isn’t about avoiding or fixing. It’s about accepting, and embracing, all of you.